Hey, forget traditional forms of revenge (all you unhinged people out there who regularly indulge in a helping of your favourite cold dish)... you know; spray painting your lovers car with abuse, throwing his clothes out onto the street, breaking his shit, shooting him to death(?) (I had to say that cos of the picture I used for this piece)... This is the digital age and it takes far less effort to enact eVenge than revenge.

Examples of eVenge can be found on sites such as DontDateHimGirl.com and ManHater.com ("We don't hate ALL men, just the jerks!" - yeah so they've changed their name to 'womensavers' now, but that's just doesn't pack the same punch) - sites specialising in assassinating the characters of men who have been naughty. This has the dual purpose of getting back at the naughty boy AND warning other girls against ever dating them. It gets pretty full-on apparently. One guy filed a lawsuit against DontDateHimGirl.com because a bunch of chicks defamed the living hell out of him. [wiki]
I can see why some people go in for eVenge; with a few mouse clicks, an upload here, some creative writing there, you can create a complete revenge package where a) the humiliating consequences reach a far wider audience, and b) it is far more difficult for him to get rid of these slights in order to clear his name.

So, eVenge.
If you've not yet figured it out, eVenge is a smooshing together of electronic + revenge.
(Urban Dictionary tells me it is sometimes written with the first consonant capitalised. As you can see I have decided to run with this. They just love doing that with 'e' stuff, don't they?)
But you don't have to go to a special website for eVenge of course. Nah, you can slag people off on facebook, twitter, whereever you have an audience on the internet.
I could get some eVenge right here if I had the inclination...

It’s a cruel trick of nature that after pregnancy, the culmination of which generally results in a human coming out of another human, when you might finally get a chance to get your mind back, without the constant hormonal attacks, you are almost certainly immediately so sleep deprived that you become, once again, quite, quite mental.

Pregmentia is, (so I hear, although not having experienced it first hand I can only trust that it’s not just a conspiracy by pregnant women created as an easy out for any fuck-ups they might make during this time) a state of semi-senility, or dementia which occurs during pregnancy, generally attributed to hormonal imbalances and the fact that you have a parasitic being inside of you literally sucking the life out of you, also the fact that it is probably quite distracting to know that at the end of 9 months you’re gonna have to let this giant thing use your vagina as an exit – they’re not French doors, you know.

It's been a while. What can I say...? It's summer. It's unhealthy to blog too often in summer.

Speaking of summer - holy crap, as if bitchy women's magazines weren't annoying enough most of the year - they get unbearable in summer - if you were to take what they say and try and translate that into some sort of practical routine to be followed day to day... let's just say that in order to prep your skin/body/hair/nails/wardrobe for summer you may as well quit your job, say goodbye to loved ones, take out some sort of a loan type thing (cultural idiom requires me to say 'second mortgage' here, but as I don''t have a first mortgage, that simply doesn't apply) and cloister yourself away like some sort of caterpillar, all in order to metamorphose yourself into an acceptable beach dwelling creature. It's sick, I tell you. Sick!

So, what do they have to say about fingernails... (Please bear in mind, I have not returned to the whatever publication I got this from to verify that I have my facts straight, - I couldn't remember where I read it even if I wanted to - but am simply regurgitating what I absorbed whenever it was I read this).
The ideal fingernail shape we should all be striving for (ladies), is the 'squoval' (squared oval) - you want your nail to have a squared off top and oval/curved sides - natural, and easy to maintain so they say. (oh - and I think they said light coloured polish makes your fingers appear longer - yes - I'm sure that will have them all fooled that you are a concert pianist.)

Anyway, one thing you DON'T want to be flaunting, just above your jandals, are 'cankles'.
This should be pre-tty well self explanatory - it's when ones calves and ankles are sort or morphed into one - you know how some women's legs don't curve in at the bottom of the calf muscle, and therefore make no clear delineation between calf and ankle? Cankles.

Needless to say, I didn't read about cankles in a women's magazine. That's just a little bitchiness devised by a friend of mine. That's obvious, because it's sound genius, without the pretense of trying to help you achieve some unattainable level of attractiveness. She always did call a spade a spade.