It seems to me that traditionally the latter months of the year were reserved for such celebrations as oh, you know – Halloween, fireworks night, maybe erm...Thanksgiving if you're American, Oktoberfest even...

Not any more – it seems these pre-Christmas months have now become important celebrations of men and their various types of facial hair...

As if Movember wasn’t enough as we chortled at our man-friends' wispy, straggly, bushy and prickly efforts at being moustacheoed for charity, Movember now has a boisterous and bristly brother – choptoper
- grow your sideburns for charity.
Go on!

Actually, don’t worry, do it next year – I just realized it’s already Movember…
Imagine the chops you’ll cultivate by next year though!!

Finally, a conjoinulated concept so nuanced I am really struggling to form the words.

Nope, it’s not so simple as homosexuality, and certainly not so complicated as incest (I only say that incase the first three letters confused you - really, not about siblings at all), this is a far subtler, more delicate form of manlove…

Bromance* describes…. Oh god, why not? I can’t put it any better myself – no point simply paraphrasing...
Although I am loath to admit it, Urban Dictionary probably puts it best by saying the following:

“Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.”

And actually, I have to admit, even this definition from further down the page is kinda good – I gotta say, even the highest voted ones are usually sketchy at best:

"An emotional attraction between bros. often the attraction is expressed physically through wrestling, nuggies, and head locks. In the more advanced stages hugging, snuggling, spooning, and even kissing may be included."

There are conflicting views on who exactly coined this phrase - some say it first came from the film Superbad (2007), others say it started in New Zealand long before that, (which is quite likely considering the high overuse of the word 'bro' in those parts - even I get called 'bro when I'm there sometimes - and I'm a girly girl!), and someone else reckons it was invented by some guy called Dave, who edited a grown up skater magazine called 'Big Brother' which doesn't exist anymore. Someone else reckons some monkey at MTV dreamt it up, which is clearly bullshit.

Obviously I don't know who exactly is responsible, but whoever it is deserves high praise for another fine conjoinulation that rolls off the tongue, and says so much, and yet so little.

*from 'bro' or 'brother' as a colloquial name for ones friend or mate, and 'romance'.

This one is marvellous - I've been meaning to write about it for ages, but haven't gotten around to it for so long, I'm ashamed to say that I have now forgotten where I first read this. Probably in a dreadful woman's magazine. Or possibly even in the Sunday papers.

Today's delightful term refers to the product of the following set of circumstances: Let's imagine you are a woman. You are starting to reach an age where, after focusing on your career for 10 or 15 years to the detriment of your personal life, you have gradually comes to the realisation that it is getting fairly late in the day as far as your ability to bear fruit goes. Something must be done, or how will you possibly feel that you have lived a complete life when you are an old woman reflecting on your achievements?

Some women, searching for a solution to this problem, and without a suitable candidate (or 'mandidate', I should say) for creating offspring, decide to go it alone.

Now you and I both know that there is only so much a woman can do on her own. Even in this day and age, we still need something from a man - this is where your mandatory gay best friend comes in (all women have one of course)... You ask your gay best friend to donate sperm so that you can make yourself a delightful baby.
It's perfect, of course: your gay friend is intelligent, good looking, stylish, fun, driven, and best of all has no wife of his own to create complications and awkwardness in such a delicate situation.

How you go about the technicalities of this is of course up to you and your friend - whether you are adventurous enough to try it the traditional way (someone revealed to me recently "it doesn't matter who's touching it - if there is friction, it will get hard" - not sure that's true for everyone), or whether you prefer the more clinical, and certainly more costly, turkey baster method, the result - all going to plan - is the same:
A beautiful bouncing 'gayby' boy or girl. Your very own bundle of joy.