Time for some yard work?

Sat, 02/01/2010 - 21:23


Ah men... I can’t keep away from the subject.
Manscaping can be defined as the removal of excess male body hair via waxing, shaving, plucking, lasering or trimming.

For me, manscaping calls to mind thoughts of heavy machinery being required, the possibility that it will turn into a long-term project, that it will most certainly be costly and physically arduous and with a definite chance that the final product won’t look as natural as you would like it to. At least not until the growth takes root and flourishes to once again recreate a lush and verdant environment.

Personally, I prefer my men less well manscaped. I mean, within reason I tend to be attracted to the disheveled types (usually with personalities to match)...

However, it seems there are plenty of people out there who think this is the be all and end all for the modern male and are more than willing to sell you a solution.
In the course of my research I came across some very forceful writing about the do's and dont's of manscaping techniques from the 'experts'. A few key pointers cropped up again and again:
DO NOT completely shave the armpits or the genital area - this is NOT what women want and will turn them right off. Three words: Trim, trim, trim!!
DO get rid of every bit of back and shoulder hair. This is a manscaping MUST.
Don't even THINK about having messy hair (on your head) or haircut growing out that looks all 'mangy' if you're going for the manscaped look.
Eyebrows? Pluck 'em.
Nose and ears? Trim or epilate.
Knuckles and toes? Tweezers again.

Yep it's probably gonna be painful, but apparently you're a bloke and you need to harden the fuck up if you want to end up soft all over.

Bad News, Good Conjoinulation

Mon, 04/06/2007 - 19:46


SMOG! It's smoke+fog. Well, not literally, I mean that's what the conjoinulation is and I guess it means a fog of smoke. Of course it's not fog in the traditional sense (i.e. the weather phenomena which is like a cloud, but on the ground), in actual fact it's all the shitty muck that is hanging round in the air above cities, formed from pollutants.
Awful thing that. Glorious conjoinulation.

But wait... there is something even more special than smog... Yes! There is!
Not only is it a double conjoinulation, but it's also a lot prettier than smog...
'Vog', [volcanic+smog(smoke+fog)] (yes, it's a word Mr. Spellchecker).
Vog is what you get when Volcanic gasses mix with oxygen and sunlight (hence the pretty).
They have a problem with this in Hawaii where the Kilauea volcano has been fizzing away since 83!
It's a serious matter tho, as they reckon it'll give you a headache, it's hell for asthmatics and it'll generally make you fatigued...seems that Vog makes you veg.
Check out the pretty: