Usually thought of as the domain of frustrated teens who can’t or won't physically act on their hormonal urges, this particular by-product of the ubiquitous smartphone is not just relegated to those greasy teens anymore – it’s also popular among those in adult relationships who for one reason or another don’t get to see enough of each other to feed that new-relationship hunger.

Sexting is really just a modern love letter. As a race we’re all a shitload more sexually liberated than we were when Gramps was courting and the only way to titillate a far off lover was to send a fragrant letter by post. These days you can instantly send and receive naughty pics, suggestive messages, even dirty videos. I know from personal experience that with free smugphone to smugphone multi media messaging apps these day, the sky’s the limit.

It’s staggering the amount relationships have changed in the digital age. I for one can’t even remember how I ever even saw or communicated with boyfriends 10 to 15 years ago. If we were stripped of mobile phones and the internet these days we’d lose each other for weeks on end and be reduced to walking the streets in the hope of randomly bumping in to one another. (Luckily it's really only stalkers who have to resort to this type of behaviour).

The media love sexting, mostly because it involves teenagers, and as we all know those crazy teens are just out of control.
In the course of my research (by research I mean a bit of lazy googling, barely ever beyond the first page of results, and a few dirty pics sent back and forth with a ‘friend’) not surprisingly the fifth search result was a piece from the Daily Mail, which in the first 3 paragraphs uses the phrases “provocatively”, “shockingly” “leafy suburbia” (oh god no!! surely not!!), “degrading”, “deeply alarming” and "will horrify parents”…
Ok so not that I agree with the Daily Mail (over my dead body), but I will say this; grown ups? Why not? Get your kicks (not that 'grown ups' are beyond trouble arising from sexting). Not so grown ups? Be careful, remember - you are idiots – you’re only gonna be broken up in 3 weeks with nothing left of your relationship but a bunch of dirty pics for him to show his mates and anyone else who cares (i.e. the internet, a.k.a. everyone in the whole world everywhere, ever).

They’re just another set of human beings… you are not contractually or legally obliged to be nice to them, but in all actuality you’d better be…

I can write about this with some authority cos although I don’t have any at this time, I bloody well have had in the past.
They’re the parents of your live-in lover; what may be viewed in the eyes of 'god' as your sinlaws.
So, you‘re living in sin...
You would hope that this delicious buffet of sin lets you off the hook as far as familial duties with your other half’s family go, just leaving all the fun and sexy stuff with none of the responsibility! Waaaay! You get to avoid all the rubbish stuff like having to do paperwork if you break up (breaks-ups suck bad enough as it is without having to fill out documents).
But somehow, being as we are human beings, and therefore generally disposed towards harmony (at least most of us fairly sane, or 'can pass as sane' ones) you find yourself in situations with these people, dealing with the strain of hyper-politeness, trying not to swear, generally being on best behaviour, stifling all the best and most exciting parts of who you are and acting like you are some sort of a wholesome, mature individual who was certainly not completely off your face and naked with their son the previous night.

Part of the problem is that you subconsciously know that without that marriage contract, you're on shaky ground anyway...
Also, there's always going to be the thought that you just can't chase away that all they are thinking when the look at you is "you do nasty, dirty things with my boy"...

I remember biting my tongue when now ex-sinlaws came over for live-in lover's birthday. I slaved frantically and fearfully away cooking a roast and making a massive and impressive cake covered in icing, candles, the whole bit... Upon arrival, mother-sinlaw announced she had brought a (not previously arranged) pudding. I thanked her and said that in actual fact I had made a cake but I'm sure we could have a little of both. To which she replied in her trademark blunt way "You can have the cake tomorrow night." I sat through dinner (while every bite was scrutinised by said mother-sinlaw, all the while damning it with faint praise) then after they had left and we could barely move for gluttony, I stubbornly got the cake out and insisted on lighting the candles and singing the damn song.

All in all though, I've had a fairly easy ride with the sin-laws... If you're lucky they live in a different city. If you're even luckier, a different country. You also want to hope for sin-laws that have extremely full and busy lives themselves so there is no time or desire for meddling, with the added bonus that conversation topics are more plentiful.

That particular mother-sinlaw (of the unrequested pudding) is soon to be another girl's actual 'in-law'...
I can't help thinking I dodged a bullet there...

Hey, forget traditional forms of revenge (all you unhinged people out there who regularly indulge in a helping of your favourite cold dish)... you know; spray painting your lovers car with abuse, throwing his clothes out onto the street, breaking his shit, shooting him to death(?) (I had to say that cos of the picture I used for this piece)... This is the digital age and it takes far less effort to enact eVenge than revenge.

Examples of eVenge can be found on sites such as DontDateHimGirl.com and ManHater.com ("We don't hate ALL men, just the jerks!" - yeah so they've changed their name to 'womensavers' now, but that's just doesn't pack the same punch) - sites specialising in assassinating the characters of men who have been naughty. This has the dual purpose of getting back at the naughty boy AND warning other girls against ever dating them. It gets pretty full-on apparently. One guy filed a lawsuit against DontDateHimGirl.com because a bunch of chicks defamed the living hell out of him. [wiki]
I can see why some people go in for eVenge; with a few mouse clicks, an upload here, some creative writing there, you can create a complete revenge package where a) the humiliating consequences reach a far wider audience, and b) it is far more difficult for him to get rid of these slights in order to clear his name.

So, eVenge.
If you've not yet figured it out, eVenge is a smooshing together of electronic + revenge.
(Urban Dictionary tells me it is sometimes written with the first consonant capitalised. As you can see I have decided to run with this. They just love doing that with 'e' stuff, don't they?)
But you don't have to go to a special website for eVenge of course. Nah, you can slag people off on facebook, twitter, whereever you have an audience on the internet.
I could get some eVenge right here if I had the inclination...

Hehe, no, it really hasn't, but I thought it was time to get a bit more dramatic. Here I am some time ago being a much younger, moodier, crop haired (having recently lost a bet to my brother in-law and had to forfeit my locks - it was either that or swim in potentially shark-infested waters), actor.

Anyway, a couple of Woody Allen films I have seen recently have been interesting to me at this time, and pertinent to my life I suppose. (Yeah, I'm sure I'm not the first to say that about a Woody Allen film).
In Annie Hall - Allen's character Alvy and his "musing about how love and relationships are something we all require despite their often painful and complex nature." [yep, wiki puts it better than I ever could].

Anyway, the coolest thing about this film (apart from the line about Hollywood being so clean 'cos they turn all their rubbish into television shows - [Thanks A.], oh, and Diane Keaton's outfits) is the following conjoinulation from Alvy at the cocktail party with publisher's and other media types (if I remember correctly) -

Alvy says: I'm so tired of spending evenings making fake insights with people who work for Dysentery.
Robin says: Commentary.
Alvy says: Oh, really, I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysentery.

Ok, so it's got nothing to do with love and relationships, but it's very good - especially good how two words and the spelling changed to make a new but established word - very sly!

*Guess I was just tricking when I titled this post.
Quote from Sarah Kane's amazing play, Crave.