I still (despite the fact that he’s held this post for over 6 years) can’t believe that The Terminator has what is surely supposed to be an almost serious job these days… Who let that happen? Wasn’t anyone watching him terrorise Sarah?

I suppose he did redeem himself later (forgive me if this has once again been turned on it’s head – I never saw past T2... Is he even in the other ones? Hang on - isn't his role played by a sexy blonde chick in the 3rd one? No, he's in that one too... erm, clearly I’m really floundering when it comes to the Rise of the Machines-y one). Anyway, despite everything, something wonderful has come out of this whole thing - a super swish conjoinulation...

I was in San Francisco about four or five years ago and Arnie had a choice to make. He got to decide whether a prisoner on death row in Oakland got to live or die. Now that, THAT is the kind of choice befitting the Governator. What did he decide? I can’t remember. Before he made his decision I had left California for the margarita’s and refried frijoles of dear old Mexico, where life and death prisoners in the US of A were none of my concern – I had more pressing matters to attend to (apart from tequila, tortillas and tortugas, my own relationship was staring death in the face. Meh... nothing like a holiday in the carribean to make like everything is peachy and to set the scene for another 2 years of denial).

But I digress.

The point is, they let an Austrian Mr Universe turned robot from the future take charge of the state which brings us the most overblown, expensive, cheesy entertainment in the world.

Oh... when I put it like that… it makes perfect sense.

There’s only one thing I love more than a good documentary, and that’s a mockumentary… the list is long and distinguished – Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, Forgotten Silver, A Mighty Wind, This is Spinal Tap (also a 'Rockumentary', incidentally) etc, then The Office, and most recently Brown Peril: The Tim Porch Story. You can’t fuck with that.

There’s just something so cool about using such an instantly recognisable style of filmmaking (talking heads, Astons etc), lulling people intio a false sense of security so they think they ar watching something serious until they suddenly start going “huh? What the fuck's going on here?”…

It happened to me many years ago, the first time I stumbled upon The Office on late nite tele (they played it at like 10.30pm or something back in the old country). I was like – oh, this looks boring – men in suits talking to the camera… luckily I held off, finger lingering over the channel-up button for a few extra seconds until I realised I was being tricked. Genius.

Also, I love the way that as soon as you hear the word ‘mockumentary’ it explains itself straight away – great conjoinulation that – and a hard working little one at that. Looks out for itself. Respect.